I have been having a lot of trouble with the loss of my Grandma Lazar whom I am named after. I know in my heart that she is so much happier where she is and that she wanted to get out of this plane of existence and wanted to enter the next phase. I know that she is with my Dad, Uncle Victor and Grandpa Lazar, her dogs, my Grandma Oliver and countless others that I have known that have left this place that we call Life.
I finally found this old pocket notebook that I have had since my Grandma Lazar and I reconnected when I was 20. I had never really gotten to know her for the 15 years since my dad and mom divorced making it awkward and/or difficult for my Grandma Lazar to contact us, but I found out that she was a very funny lady.
Spring of 2005;
Grandma Lazar: "So Paris Hilton found God, it was on the news...."
Me: "Maybe she should have found God a long time ago."
Grandma Lazar: "No, she was too busy making sex videos. I mean, she's 26, of course she's having sex, but why does she have to show it?"
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Grandma Lazar: "Have you seen these new Iphones they have now? You can get internet, texts, pictures. It makes just about everything except children!":
Spring/Summer 2006;
I was attempting to park in an SA parking lot, but all of the spots (except for the handicapped parking) were full. I said in a screechy/uncertain voice, "I don't know if I should take the handicapped parking spot?" In which Grandma Lazar stated "just take it and I'll stay in the car, we'll just say that I can't walk....."
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She was hilarious, indeed. Here's a classic.
ReplyDeleteGrandma: I tried to cook lobster one time. I brought it home from the grocery store, dropped it into a pot of boiling water, and the thing started screaming. I said “Nuh-uh,” and had to throw it out. Ka-poot!
Me: Will you still eat lobster if someone *else* cooks it?
Grandma: Yes, because at least that way, I am not participating in the death.